Change of scene. I went to the city thinking I would have a blast. I loved my independence, I loved feeling glamorous walking down trendy mercer street everyday to school.
School; what does this word even mean. Does it have a meaning? Some believe it is what determines your career. Others practice the lovely art of drinking games and sleeping through class. I have never understood the latter.
You are at school to learn, at least that is what society and especially your parents tell you. Most of the time your parents are the ones paying for your education. Are you really going to waste that money by not putting your all into learning as much as you can? By skipping class? By drinking every night?
If you're smart you already have the tools to succeed, you just need that one person to put their faith in you, to give you that chance to prove yourself. It’s simple, you start out at the bottom and work your way up. You learn the tricks of the trade and once those are engraved in your head you can do almost anything. You don't need a degree to prove how smart you are. You can prove your intellect by how hard you work and the results you produce.
Back to the city. I saw places in the city that I have seen on television. I don't know why, but I have this strange obsession of becoming famous. Completely unrealistic I know, but again I feel like if I have the right training to do something I can do anything. This has been my experience throughout my whole life, which sounds really conceited of me to say, but its the truth. I may not be good at something I have just started, but you know what they say, practice makes perfect. There are many mistakes before real success. There are so many opportunities to succeed in the city, yet some many opportunities to fail.
I wish I could have stayed, but the one thing I am not, is loaded with cash. It is quite expensive to live there even when you are going to school. Especially when you can not afford the school you are enrolled in. There were some mishaps in the beginning with financial aid and whatnot that lead me to the decision to leave. I was just being realistic. If you weren't getting any substantial financial help from your parents, would you want to take out $30,000 + private loans every year? I didn't think so. It sucks it had to end like that, but it was the right thing to do. I don't even know what I want to do with my life let alone study!
That is what I am struggling with right now. What should I do with my life? This has been the question that has stumped me for some time now. There are so many things that I enjoy, so many interests I have thought I wanted to pursue. But none of them are really what I want to do. I started studying nutritional sciences at the first school I was at. It was interesting but made me feel guilty for having an occasional brownie or cookie. That was quickly crossed of the list. I started to study art history at this school in the city, but quickly realized this was just another interest of mine and not a real promising career path. So many jobs out there require a degree in something and I think that is why my mother wants me to stay in school. I honestly think I can be as equally successful as someone else who has a degree. Even people who have degrees can’t get jobs in the fields they want. Thats just how it is. If you are struggle with the same question as me, check this website out: http://www.wisebread.com/feeling-stuck-100-ways-to-change-your-life <-- it gives you a good exercise to really open up your mind and get creative!
What life choices are you struggling with right now?
How do you stay positive?
Reach out to me, its good to have people to talk to who feel the same way.
